A Fort for the Wolf to Blow Down

The future of the Ukrainian government hangs in the balance and the only thing I can think about is how hard it is to get a 2x4. You know, the standard cheap six-foot softwood stud. The kind one uses to build a loft in a college dorm room. The kind one uses to frame out a basement with, before the metal studs arrived and quickly became commonplace. The kids and I need them desperately so we can build our Fortetsia (fort). We can’t find this basic building supply here in Ukraine. They just don’t seem to be in circulation here. The kids and I canvass Velyka Okruzhna (the ring road). Through the swirling dust we look at the long lines of ancient Kamaz trucks standing on the side of the road, tilting precariously under the weight of their cargo. Their tail gates are open, displaying massive quantities of bricks, flagstone, garden stepping stones, large boulders, and quite an array of gravel varieties. Occasionally between the massive olive-green trucks sits a broad babushka, on a tiny stool, selling hand made brooms made of twigs strapped together on wooden poles. This was all very intriguing for us but it did not help us buy any 2x4’s. A lumber dilemma. “Maybe we should build the fort out of bricks” says Roman after seeing the mass of overloaded trucks of red bricks. “No” says Maya “We’re the middle pig, we’re building the fort out of wood.” Kalyna, chimes in “yeah, the wolf will huff and puff and blow our fort down”.

We arrive at EPICENTER. Each time I go into this store I am taken aback by it’s monstrous size: bigger than any Lowe’s or Home Depot I’ve seen in the U.S. More than 30 cashiers are hacking away at their registers. Sweating, socks and sandal clad shoppers dutifully wait in long lines with hardware piled high on their shopping carts waiting to pay 300 hryvnia for an imported German garden hose for example. I’m not an economist, but to me it’s some kind of an indicator of how disposal income is increasing, at least among Ukrainians in Kyiv. I didn’t run into a single foreigner in the place.

Again, the same lumber problem. The store seemingly has everything one could desire, in terms of hardware, but no 2x4’s. The kids grow impatient and start requesting a visit to the EPICENTER café, famous in our household. I actually like it. It’s large, modern and decorated in a trendy, New York style not to mention the great Ukrainian food served up cafeteria style.

Standing in this crowded mega-store, café pressure mounting from three hungry and thirsty mouths, I opt for these crazy 1.5 meter 1x5.5 pine boards that look like they are a composite of many smaller pieces (like scraps). Crazy to the tune of 35 hryvnia each (compared to a couple of dollars for a 2x4 in the U.S.). Expensive Kyiv.

So, in the end, we wind up building our fort with the 1x5.5’s and it seems to be going ok. Project completion is targeted for this weekend. Here is the construction team hard at work:

Kivalov in the News

Ok, he's become a pet peeve of mine. I admit it. The latest is that he is about to put forth the VR's candidates for the Constitutional Court. The absurdity is unreal, beyond the baseline "surrealness" of politics here. (see article)

Idiot Boy

Do you remember Kivalov? The head of the CEC when the presidential election was ripped off? The one who accepted a huge bribe to deceive the whole country?  Well, how disgusting is it to hear him on the radio (he’s a deputy now) giving his commentary on the political situation.  Are you kidding me? Is there anyone who is not disgusted by hearing him? I hope you google your name and read my words. YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL LOSER.  SIT DOWN AND STAY QUIET FOOL.  Just to make sure google picks up on this: Kivalov, Kivalov, Kivalov, Kivalov, Kivalov, Kivalov, Kivalov, Kivalov, Kivalov.   Now go google yourself.

BBC: Ukraine a Banana Republic?

My friend reports to me that BBC just called Ukraine a "banana republic". What does it mean exactly? Research item resulting in:

Banana republic is a pejorative term for a small, often Latin American or Caribbean country, which is politically unstable, dependent on limited agriculture, and ruled by a small, wealthy and corrupt clique. (from wikipedia)

Ok. Small? No. Politically unstable? Yes. Dependent on limited agriculture? No. Ruled by a small, wealthy and corrupt clique? um...wait that's a tough one...Yes?

I have been receiving emails from the U.S. asking if any of the local Kyivites care about the situation. From where I sit, if they do care, they sure are doing a good job of hiding it, because all appearances indicate that they could give 2 sh**s.

Tomorrow should be interesting as our soap opera continues to unfold. Tonight's cliffhangers: Will ByuT block the trybuna? Will the calls for a second maydan protest outside the VR be heeded (see maidan )? Will anyone listen to Yanukovych’s calls for a rally of his supporters at the VR?

Enough to keep me up at night? Not really. More like a story line of a third rate reality show.

Ukraine has more to offer than bananas and crooks.

Ukr-Folk Hip-Hop

That's how one of the bands performing at "Spivoche Pole" during Oleh Skrypka's incredible festival of Ukrainian folk art, craft and music introduced themselves. Multiple music stages. Singing groups that toured specific parts of Ukraine reported their findings by sharing the songs they learned there. Folk music from other countries (e.g. France) was also heard from the main stage as well as the whole gamut of Ukrainian music from traditional to hip-hop.

I relished one of those "aha moments" of how good it is to live in Ukraine. Sitting outdoors, in the open air with a view of the Dnipro and Patona bridge. The rhythmic music mixing with our kids laughing as they run through the trees and bushes building "forts". Beer taps flowing alongside trays of fresh dyruny. Spontaneous encounters with random friends leading to animated conversations. More music --- and the bonus educational piece: our kids seeing how a bandura is carved out of a single block of wood, and how a vyshyvka is weaved on an ancient wooden foot-treadle loom.

We visited the festival twice on Saturday and returned on Sunday for the grand finale: Oleh Skrypka's performance, while the moon ascended above the evergreens, and the two giant straw men (seemingly in the middle of the crowd) were set ablaze.

A world away from the pathetic political drama just a few kilometers away. Highly recommended.

Moroz

I immersed myself in the disgusting unfolding "drama" last night via Ukr. television. Now I feel unclean. I am very glad I didn't waste time following the whole agonizing formation of the so-called "Orange Coalition", only to see it lay dying a week later.

Yushchenko will not stop supporting Poroshenko. What's with that? My freind's astute observation: "I wonder what Yushchenko owes Poroshenko?"

First American Meal

Our summer escapade to visit family in the USA has officially started. We boarded Continental 067 for Cleveland at London's Gatwick airport. The smiling flight attendant gave the kids their "children's meals". The kids were excited. "Our first American meal!" says Romchyk. The tray is loaded with fried chicken fingers, french fries, potato chips, and a Kit-Kat chocolate bar. Welcome to America.

Crimea Induced Blogger's Block

It's been a long time since I blogged. Suffering from blogger's block. It all started with the crazy Crimea road-trip more than a month ago. The trip was so incredibly rich in varied and surreal experiences that I generated reams of notes and thoughts but ironically no writing output. The thought of sitting at a PC and coming out with the words became somehow inconceivable, and worse with everyday. To do our Crimea trip justice I should write a complete narrative... yeah right.

When I think back I see a movie montage of endless driving across steppes and winding up and down mountains. Crossfade to checking in and out of different hotels. In and out six times in nine days. Exploring the deserted pre-season beachfronts with their boarded up cafes like the “La La Land” in Alushta. The meeting with Dimri the real estate guy in Yalta whose parents are 100% Tatar, who spent 12 years living in Donetsk and now taught himself to speak and read Ukrainian and insists on raising his children as Ukrainians. “Where can I get Ukrainian books?” he asks. Hey…yevshan.com of course. Next scene we’re walking into the fortress in Sudak only to stumble into a medieval reinactment where fully suited knights are hacking at themselves with real swords. Big ones. Then, still in Sudak, a glimpse of the hotel restaurant where the lounge singer (from Lviv no less) lets each of the kids sing a song on the microphone. The oseledets was good. Oh yeah…the waitress told us how her 17 year-old son just finished a paper on the Holodomor. How proud he is to be Ukrainian. Hmm.



More driving scenes with empty pringles containers, squashed grapes and sprite bottles dropping out of the car when the doors open for pee breaks. Family roadside peeing: morning, day, and night.

Then there’s Koktebel. A fascinating beach and our walk in search of Voloshin’s house. There it is --- oops, closed for remont. Then I realized the boardwalk (no wooden planks here, like in the USA, but a granite and marble promenade) was particularly well done. Wait…zoom into a plaque hanging on the side of a stone fence…donated by Poroshenko, Kinakh, Tyhypko…hmm.


The sun was hot and bright on arrival in Feodosia. We loved the aura here – the small hotel we found even had a great swimming pool. Maybe the closing scene would be the view I had in the square in Feodosia as nightfall arrived and the flashing neon-sign on the wall of the bar in front of me read: “Bar-Tyr”. Yes, “bar-shooting range”. Strangely inviting. Fade to black.

Chernobyl +20yrs

Thanks to a good friend for sending me
this link. That's all i have to say.

Krym Journey - Odesa via Hazzard County

We left the house all pumped up to be finally packed and on the way. 2 minutes later we're stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the ring road. But after this hiccup, the road trip to Odesa rocked. The road is really excellent. My guess it that the highway is about 90% complete (i.e. new road, new signage, and even overpasses to minimize intersections). Only small patches were still the old road, but even those did not have potholes or other hazards. The feeling of actually doing a road trip with the kids was very liberating. The rolling hills, newly seeded fields, trees just about to turn green and huge cumulus clouds on the horizon were moving in their intensity. The natural beauty of the Ukrainian nature made the time go by almost effortlessly. In Cherkasy Oblast we were pulled over, with a group of other cars, by DAI for speeding. He showed me 111 km/hour on his hand held device. I was never really clear on what the speed limit is. There aren't any speed limit signs, except sometimes in towns where the 70 km limit is clearly posted. Outside of towns I was operating under the vague assumption that the limit is 120. Oh well. Here we go with a DAI conversation that went from decent to bad with every minute that I did not pony up the cash. With every line he filled in on the Protokol he was getting more and more agitated. He gave me it for signature, which I did, but I noticed a part on the form that allows the "porushnyk" to explain the situation. Why not avail myself of this opportunity? So I wrote, in my block Ukrainian letters, what the road situation was. A group of cars. Cars in front and behind me...and so on. Now he started yelling at me and calling me "nechemnyj". I told him I didn't mean to insult him, but he kept yelling about how I am not conducting myself properly. Considering that we are in the middle of nowhere in what has suddenly become Hazzard County in my head (I could just picture the country judge, the country sheriff) I decide that it's probably not smart for this to continue. The DAI was spitting as he raged, now moving into how Americans have money and a standard of living and Ukrainians don't, and do I know how much a DAI officer makes in a month? Just when I'm about to reach for some cash... he throws my docs into my lap and says "Just go". And go we did...quickly. It was good to see the Odesa Oblast sign.

Arrival in Odesa was just after nightfall. The trip totalled 5 hours and 15 minutes including multiple stops at the modern Lukoil gas stations to visit their excellent toilet facilities. No problemo. The hotel in Odesa "Frapolli" is great. We have a balcony overlooking "Derabasyvska" (a cafe/restaurant street in the heart of Odesa) and a PC in each room (which I'm writing on right now). Today it's onward to Krym. No reservations, no commitments, no obligations. True vacation and a touch of adventure.

Krym and Hacking our DVD Player

Ok. I don't know if Krym is ready for us but we are cruising down as a family unit to check it out. Ola and I have been to Yalta, but this time we're driving down with the goal of exploring the whole coast and anything along the way that seems interesting.

Sidenote for geeks (like me). With visions of 11 hours in the car with the kids, I purchased a portable DVD player at a store here in Kyiv and even though I was told it would play Region 5 (eastern europe -- dvds sold by stores here) it was actually a region 2 DVD player. No dice with our USA dvds or Ukrainian ones. "WRONG REGION" blinking. Hmmmm. This region crap really blows (i'll spare you the rationalization behind my next steps). I turned to Google and within a few keystrokes I had an exact description of which keys to press on my remote control to access the "secret menu" on the dvd player. Once the secret menu was up one simply selects the region number or VER255 for all regions and viola: a multi-region player. USA and Ukrainian dvds play perfectly.

Sunday Afternoon

One of the things I like about Kyiv. A stunning visual moment getting to the top of Prorizna at Volodymyrska. (Photo by Ola)

Black Water

04:05 am
My great-grandmother’s black travel trunk, that crossed the Atlantic twice in the early 1900’s, serves as my night stand.  The things that are on it are a battery powered,  imitation 1930’s analog alarm clock, Andrew Wilson’s Ukraine’s Orange Revolution, a reading light, my glasses and my black Motorola; alarm set, plugged in to charge. It’s the Motorola that vibrates and rings at 04:05 in the morning with a familiar name flashing on the blue screen.  It can only be a bad thing when one of your manager’s names lights up on your phone at 04:05. How bad?

04:50 am
I arrive on the second floor of our new building and the smoke is still too thick to see across the workshop floor. Someone hands me a wet cloth that I hold to my mouth while walking into what looks like a thick fog to see where the fire had been.  Now fully extinguished, by a Ukrainian designed and installed sprinkler system, it had been in a small contained area yet the volume of black smoke it generated was enough to fill the entire workshop.  No injuries I think to myself. That’s a good thing. I look down. The bottoms of my boots are hidden in one of the large pools of black water. I swirl it around and wonder where the drains are?

05:30 am
I wash my eyes, mouth, and nose out as best I can and drink some milk to counteract the smoke.  It tastes good especially compared to the evil smelling smoke from burning synthetic materials. Floating chemicals. I’m a little high actually – no, not in a good way. A little anxiety starts here. Insurance? Equipment damage? Will we open in time for business? And what about the grand opening five weeks away? Did I sign those fire regulation “Nakazy” or are they buried in one of my “In” piles?  What’s with this spinning in my head?

06:10 am
The authorities are here now. Joy. MVS officers with star covered epaulets, experts with black jackets and combat pants; everyone but the firefighters (Pozhezhnyky) who have not yet responded. I embark on my now scripted ‘government inspector’ song and dance, playing their game, while my team wastes valuable minutes scribbling on “Poyasnenia” documents instead of dealing with the mess.    

06:30 am
Morning cleaning team arrives on schedule and gets right to work (interesting). Off-shift cleaning staff is called in to help.  I am amazed at the dedication with which they work to clean up the acrid mess. No complaining, no finger pointing, just solid, efficient work. Screw anyone who thinks Ukrainians don’t work hard.  

07:10 am
I pull up the video camera archive on a PC.  There it all is. 03:31, small flame, larger flame, smoke, and water.  Eerie. I think back to that design meeting where I voiced my opinion against a video system, not wanting a big brother feel. Now I’m checking the archive footage for the second time in one week. Last week we caught a shoplifter on video.

09:00 am
Management team meeting.  Things worked; other things failed; no one was hurt. This time. We document the issues and develop an action plan.  I propose we get our emergency response planning shit together. Everyone nods.  

a What's On moment

Ah. A moment of fame Kyiv style. Thanks to the What's On copy writers, Ola and I are shown with our aliases. The exhibit opening was "Silent TV" at L-Art. In the artist's words the works were inspired by his television which he keeps on silent. Worth checking out.

Billboard Epilogue

This is an example of what many formerly political billboards now look like. Impressive array of colors, the phrase fragments, the layered political and consumer images. Kind of like the campaigns.

Orange Chronicles Gets Some Press!

(Photo from Gazeta PO Kyivsky, Yuriy Sapozhnykova)
In the Saturday, April 1st, "Gazeta PO-Kyivsky" (Russian) Damyan and his project got a full page! You can read it here. The paper reports a circulation of 355,000. Not bad coverage.

It's really an impressive documentary done from a people point of view rather than a political recap. If you have a chance to see it at the various screenings Damyan's arranging around town it's well worth the effort. Soon he will know if it will be aired on UT-1.

Total Solar Eclipse Visible from Kyiv

Looking from Kyiv at 13:06 (according to this table) the Sun will be totally eclipsed by the moon today. Read about the Solar Eclipse here.

Update: I guess I read the table incorrectly, because nothing really happened. I was reading under "Maximum Eclipse". Next I will try 14:14 the table entry under "Fourth Contact" adjusted for Ukraine (GMT +2 hrs).

Yujlka oh Yujlka

Ran across this animation (in Russian) of an ode to Yulia by some boys you might recognize from Donetsk. Check it out.

Ukraine Votes V

So it looks like I was a day off in my prediction. The votes are now 87% counted. Yanukovych is a player again albeit with no real political force to form a coalition with. (Did he really congratulate Lukashenka? -- why am I surprised). What will his job be?

Personally not happy with Pora-PRP's performance. I thought they would fare much better. I know several people that weighed Viche vs. Pora-PRP and, in the end voted for Viche.

I watched an entertaining interview with Vitrenko last night on Ukrainian T.V. She has an exit poll showing that she received 30% of the vote and claims that the Yushchenko admin-machine has applied all its evil forces to deprive her of her rightful place in government.

Our Ukraine has to be pissed with this result, but hey, the Ukrainian people have spoken. It's pretty clear they don't want the wishy-washy, concilliatory Yushchenko methods. They DO want to see direct action against being stifled and held back in their pursuit of whatever it is they feel they want to pursue. Please, remember the one year anniversary of the OR on Maidan? Yushchenko with the stack of papers, plowing through page by page vs. Yulia with her seemingly off the cuff fiery speech. Maybe Our Ukraine should have hired some high-power Washington PR firm like regions did. There's an orange arrogance within their ranks. I think the whole maydan/orange campaign was a mistake. Let me get this straight. No falsification/Gongadze perpetrators behind bars, crooks in your ranks, a deal with Yanukovych, a shady gas deal and you're going to promote "Ne Zrad Maydan". How about, "Ok we've made some mistakes...but we've got the vision and we'll get the job done".

Question to those who voted for BYut: Did you vote for Yulia because she is the so-called "lesser of the evils", or do you really believe that Yulia is the right answer to move the country forward?

All in all, Ukraine did achieve free and fair elections acknowledgement from the west. The exchange rate hasn't budged. People are still going about their business working and spending money. The economy remains stable through an election campaign in Ukraine which should be good for attracting foreign investment. Let's hope for this suggested coalition to be established in short order so the political forces can stop the posturing and form a government that starts doing some work. There is much to be done.

Ukraine Votes IV - CEC Progress Trend

If you trend the regular CEC result updates on Ukrainska Pravda the counting progress is accelerating. Assuming it will continue accelerating at the same pace my predicted completion time is around 1 am. My completion estimate is based on Microsoft's math. Reliable? Here is the actual data, the trendline is not shown.